Homemade EMDR

Homemade EMDR. I just made that up. Sounds like this article should be about lemonade or something to eat, but it's better than that.

I think Homemade EMDR is safe and gentle because you are in complete control and responsible for yourself, as is the case with any self-help techniques. But as a disclaimer, anything you learn from me and try on yourself, is your responsibility. I also want to say that while I had been classified as having complex PTSD, I did not have any issues with disassociating or other mental illness.

I figured out how to do Homemade EMDR on myself, after I first experienced a very unprofessional version of EMDR at my 12 step support group. One day the group got onto the topic of therapies, and EMDR came into the conversation. A couple of women had done EMDR with therapists. One woman said it made her too dizzy and she didn't like it. The other woman agreed that it made her feel a little off for awhile, mentioning a headache for a few hours, but that overall she thought it worked great. One woman offered to show us how it's done, on anyone willing to be her victim.

I volunteered and my fellow survivor directed the EMDR for me. In the end, it was pretty much useless. She really had no idea what she was doing, and neither did I. But when I saw that it was just moving the eyes back and forth, I decided to try it again at home by myself.

 

So one day, when my poor husband forgot to buy milk on his way home from work or for some other such betrayal of trust that I blew way out of proportion in my head and heart, I became enraged. I wanted to kill him, perhaps not literally. But I did want to throw things. I wanted to hit something or someone. You probably get the point that I was about to throw a great big tantrum. Some of you might understand how a small irritation can trigger all those old feelings and cause a total overreaction to the present situation. However, as Victor Frankl wrote, there is a point between thought and feeling where you can choose. I realized that I was boiling with rage, and before I did or said anything damaging, in fact before I expressed my rage in any way, I headed straight for my bedroom, without making a scene, and I quietly locked my bedroom door. I sat on my bed and found two places on the wall. Later I would discover that the bathroom was an easier place to sneak off to, that the shower curtain had great spots for EMDR, and that no one would bother me there, not even my little kids.

That first time, sitting on my bed, I chose spots on the wall that were a comfortable distance apart, and that allowed my eyes to move from one side of my visual field to the other side. While still fuming and thinking those angry thoughts, I looked from one spot to the other, moving my eyes back and forth, back and forth. To be clear, I was not relaxed. This was not meditation. I was furious. And while thinking those furious thoughts and feeling those furious feelings, I did the eye movements. Eventually, I calmed down. I can't say how long it took, maybe 5 minutes, maybe 25 minutes. But afterward, I was able to go back out to my family, and rejoin humanity.

Years later, looking back, I can say that this Homemade EMDR saved my life. It certainly helped increase my qaulity of life. I often used it on troublesome feelings or thoughts.

So let me once again reiterate how I did my Homemade EMDR, and add one last thing. 

1. I became engaged in an upsetting feeling or thought. 
2. I would make the choice that I wanted to do EMDR on it. 
3. I would go to a quiet place, or at least as private a place as possible.
   
4. I would find two points on the wall. The points were a comfortable width apart, so that my eyes were travelling a comfortable but significant distance from side to side.
   
5. I would look from one point on the wall, to the other, back and forth, back and forth, while feeling those feelings, thinking those thoughts. The intensity on the feelings would diminish.
6. Once I started calming down, and while still doing the eye movements, I engaged in positive self-talk and positive thoughts, usually pertinent to the issue at hand. 

I went looking for resources to share with you, and found a wealth of stuff. I picked what I thought most helpful or interesting, choosing video and audio coverage on this topic, to share with you. Check these out:

See this for a great Overview of an EMDR Session (she's a little hard to hear, but worth it) She shows the tapping method:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQLic6fmoE0&feature=related

This is about using EMDR for Anger (validates my personal experience):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUAbO9qtlDg&feature=related

Here is a great Homemade Eye Movement YouTube Video for Relaxation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5IRwMqZSMg&feature=related

This, on using EMDR for smoking, is neat. I do have to say that the eye movements don't have to be as fast as that doctor is doing them, in the first video. Eye movements should be at a comfortable pace, with the client in control of the speed, which is why doing it yourself, or choosing the speed of the machine is the best. Also, the addition of audio is fairly new, and not necessary.

http://quinten.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/stop-smoking-with-emdr/

Here is an Audio interview including a general overview of EMDR.

http://www.thepsychfiles.com/2007/06/episode-19-eye-movement-desensitization-and-reprocessing-an-interview-with-jamie-oneil/