written by child molesters

Who is a child molester?

I may be well known and liked by you and your child.

I can be married or single.

I can be any age.

I can be religious, or not.

I can be a family friend, a teacher, a babysitter, a family member, or anyone who comes in contact with children.

I am likely to be a stable, employed, respected member of the community.

My education and my intelligence don't prevent me from molesting your child.

I can be anybody.

How Child Molesters Gain Access to Your Child

It is very easy.

I pay attention to your child and make them feel special.

I appear to be someone you and your family can trust and rely on.

I get to know your child's likes and dislikes very well.

I go out of my way to buy gifts or treats your child will like.

I isolate your child by involving him or her in fun activities so we can be together.

If you are a busy parent, you are glad that I am giving your child attention.

I may spend my free time helping children or taking them on special outings by myself.

I take advantage of your child's natural curiosity, by telling dirty jokes, showing them pornography and playing immodest games.

I know a lot about what kids like; i.e. music, clothing, games, language, etc.

If I am a parent, it is easy for me to isolate, control, and molest my own children. I can block the communication between my children and their mother, and make it look like I'm the "good guy".

I may touch your child in your presence so that the child thinks you allow me to touch them.

Why Don't Child Molesters Always Get Caught?

Once I start, I will do everything possible to continue molesting your child.

I am very selfish and do not care if my behavior hurts children. And I will not stop on my own.

Once I've begun molesting your child, I maintain their cooperation and silence through guilt, shame, fear and sometimes “love”.

I convince your child that they are responsible for my behavior.

I make your child think no one will believe them if they tell on me.

I tell your child that you will be disappointed in them for what they have done "with" me.

I warn your child that they will be the one who will be punished if they talk.

I may threaten your child with physical violence against them, you, a pet or another loved one.

I can get a child to feel sorry for me or believe that they are the only one who understands me.

If I am a family member or live in a home with children, my behavior may look accidental.  I "accidentally" expose myself or "accidentally" walk in on children while they are using the bathroom or changing clothes.

If I am a family member, my behavior might look "normal" to other people. I may use situations like tucking kids in at night to touch them.

I may be a family member who acts as if this is a normal thing for us to do together, so the child doesn't realize or know to tell.

I may be so good at manipulating children that they may try to protect me because they love me.

Prevention

Don't feel that your child is safe from me! At least one out of every four children will be molested by the age of eighteen. Here are some ways to protect children from me.

Don't expect your child to be able to protect themselves from me or assume that they will be able to tell you that I am abusing them.

Communicate:  listen, believe and trust what your child tells you. Children rarely lie about abuse.

Educate: teach your child healthy values about their bodies. If you don't teach your child, I will.

Watch for any symptoms of molestation that your child might demonstrate.

Read to your child books that teach children about safety against child molestation.

Give your child specific information about where on their body they should not be touched or touch others.

Let them know that people who touch children's private parts are wrong.

Talk to your child about the ways someone might try to "trick" them into going along with "secret touching." Give examples of how child molesters convince kids to not tell.

Make sure your child knows that you want them to tell you immediately if something ever happens and that, despite what anyone else may tell them, they will not be in trouble.

Get to know your child's friends and the homes in which your child plays.

Be wary of older children or adults who want to spend a lot of time alone with your child.

Trust your intuition: if you feel something is not right in your child's relationships, act on it.

Have "safety talks" with your children several times a year.

Give information to kids about the risks of encountering child molesters and explicit materials on MP4s, Ipods, and the internet.

This information was taken from a brochure developed and written by child molesters in treatment at The Center for Behavioral Intervention, established by Steven H. Jensen.