Chessed in Reporting Child Sexual Abuse in the Jewish Community

Chessed in Reporting.

“I see you’ve begun to read,” said Grandpa. He bought me a gift, Wizard of Oz.

My father said, "You like reading?" He handed me a stack of pornographic magazines.

My mother said, “You’ve begun to read.” She gave me her copy of How to Please a Man that my father bought her. “You read it,” she said, “Let me know if you learn anything worthwhile.”

I read everything.

I should have been sufficiently prepared, or should I say groomed, to accept the next step. Nonetheless, as my father’s hands groped at what was left of my innocence, I felt such a shock. It felt as though my neshama jumped right out of my body.

He molested me many afternoons over a period of a couple of months. He was very moody and began to sink into a serious depression. He soon became so emotionally impaired that he took himself to a psychiatrist to get medication.

It was there that, eventually, in a desperate attempt to stop himself from drowning in despair, he told that he had maybe been a little inappropriate with his daughter.

He was informed of the Law of Reporting by his psychiatrist. He was told to expect a police officer and a social worker to come to the house.

In the meantime, he continued to molest me. Even knowing that soon he was going to face public humiliation. He just wouldn’t stop.

The day came, finally, when the authorities showed up at our home. The day when we should have felt that everything was crashing down on us.

Instead, we felt relieved. 

Living in that dysfunctional family with that tormented man had been torture for all of us.

And nothing would have stopped him. Only those handcuffs. Only sitting in jail, at the lowest point of his life. 

My father accepted full responsibility for molesting me. He was glad it was stopped.

Now to the present.

A family went to their Rav to discuss the odd behavior of a certain gentleman in the kehilla. He had been acting inappropriately with the children. The Rav decided to watch on the man. The Rav received more reports. He talked to the man. He threatened him.

It didn't stop the pedophile. The man continued to attack the innocence of so many children. The pedophile finally messed with the wrong family. That boy told his mother, and she believed him. Knowing the Rav wouldn’t help, she went to the police.

The Rav found out and stood up in front of the kehilla and said, “One may not go to the police without discussing it with a Rav. Reporting to the secular authorities can destroy lives.”

Yet how many lives were destroyed before the pedophile was arrested?

And how many lives were saved as a result of reporting to the secular authorities? Numerous lives, numerous souls were saved by reporting it to the authorities and finally putting a stop to the abuse.

It is a chessed. If you suspect someone is a child molester, report it.