Scream of Tamar

Still Screaming - Is Anyone Listening,  the short version found on Tzedek-Tzedek blogspot, an article written by Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi of Congregation Ahavas Israel in Passaic, NJ, and originally published in the Jewish Star.

. . .Daf Yomi learned Sanhedrin, daf 21. Toward the end of the first amud, the Gemara discusses a very unfortunate incident of molestation and abuse that occurred in King David’s very own palace!

Let us take a look at the verses, exactly as they appear in our Holy Tanach, in the book of Shmuel 2 (13:6-13).

“6. And Amnon lay down and feigned sickness; and the king (David) came to see him, and Amnon said to the king, ‘Let my sister Tamar come now, and make two dumplings before my eyes; that I may eat from her hand.’”

7. And David sent home to Tamar saying, ‘Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare the food for him.

8. And Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house and he was lying down. And she took the dough, and kneaded it, and she prepared the dumplings before his eyes, and she cooked the dumplings.”

9. And she took the pan and poured [them out] before him: but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, ‘Take everyone out from me.’ And everyone went out from him.

10. And Amnon said to Tamar, ‘Bring the food into the chamber that I may eat from your hand.’ And Tamar took the dumplings that she had made and brought them to Amnon her brother into the chamber.

11. And she brought them near to him to eat and he took hold of her and said to her, ‘Come lay with me, my sister.’”

12. And she said to him, ‘No, my brother, do not force me, for it is not done so in Israel; do not do this wanton deed.

13. And I, where shall I lead my shame? And [as for] you, you shall be like one of the profligate men in Israel. And now I beg of you to speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.’

14. But he would not heed her and he overpowered her, and forced her, and lay with her.”

This incident is certainly not one that brought pride or honor to King David and the Jewish people; however, the Torah tells it as it was and it is for us to learn the lessons.

The verses themselves are powerful enough to tell of the dangers of molestation; however, I would like to focus on the next few verses — the focal point of the Gemara’s discussion.

How did Tamar react to her molestation? How did she react to her abuse and to her abuser? Let’s read further in the chapter:

"18. Now she had on a striped tunic, for in this manner the king’s virgin daughters dressed, in robes. And his servant brought her outside, and locked the door after her.

19. And Tamar put ashes on her head, and she went about, crying aloud as she went."

What did Tamar do? Did she “cover up”her shame? Did she attempt to deal with the issue (as one so-called ‘prominent’ person once told me that these things have to be dealt with) shtiller hait — in silence and privately?

No! Tamar went out publicly, as the Holy Torah says: and she went about, crying aloud as she went! She made a public display of her abuse and of her molestation.

She could not cover it up! She did not deal with it privately and in the secretive chamber of a rabbinic refectory.

No, Tamar went public and screamed and cried until all the women of the Jewish world knew about her molestation and her abuse.


Go to this article on Tzedek-Tzedek blogspot to read more about how the rabbis of the Gemara reacted.